Time for a confession! I cannot flirt and I have never been on a real date. My husband was really a good guy but we didn’t really go on a date, at least, a traditional date, until after we moved in together. Let me define what I mean by date. To me, a date is when you go to dinner or coffee or drinks or a movie, something of the sort. Justin and I went for walks or talked on my front porch or in his apartment. He never picked me up in his car and took me to dinner or a movie. Not judging, truth is, I never missed the dates. I liked our conversations and walks in the park. I have only had about 3 boyfriends in my life. My first real boyfriend was in middle school, my second was in high school and my third would later become my husband. In middle school, I was only allowed on group dates. In high school, I was more focused on school work and the guy I dated never took me out, he did bring me breakfast once. In college, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up, making friends and didn’t really want a boyfriend. Then I met Justin and my life changed and everything was good :). When I lost him everything changed again and I thought I would never want to date or anything ever again. Fast-forward to five years later and I find that never again is unrealistic.
So here is the situation, I seem to be attracted to a guy at my gym. Cliche, I know! Since I don’t really get out much I guess the gym and the grocery store are about the only places I will meet a guy. I suppose it might be time to mend my hermit ways ;). Anyway, I met a cute guy (so, high school sounding) and I have no idea what to do next. I have never been able to flirt without sounding like a total goob and even if I could I have no idea how a real date goes. Oh and there is the whole widowed single mom thing that doesn’t do much to turn guys on. It’s a lot to handle. You may be asking yourselves why I am even mentioning all this. Well, because I have no idea what I am doing so I am seeking assistance from all available avenues! Friends, some family, and you all. I am not even really sure I am 100% ready to date. I guess if I am now looking at guys going hmmmm….I wonder, then it is probably time to start figuring out how all this crap works. You know, at the young age of 37 it might actually be time to figure out to flirt or what to say and not say on a date, especially a first date.
So my blogging friends, tell me, how does this all work? Please don’t say dating websites because I am definitely not ready for all that jazz. Who asks who? I am almost in a place where I am confident enough to do the asking but I have a fear of rejection. It stems from a lack of confidence in my appearance. I was made fun of a lot when I was a kid, weight problems, glasses, socially awkward. Yeah, not much has changed. I am a bit more confident but I still have the glasses and weight problems. For those of you who never had these issues, it sticks with you, even when you believe that you are a well-adjusted, self-confident adult. Self-doubt is a little monster that must be fought at all times.
Give me your thoughts friends, I look forward to hearing from you :).