Face to the Sky

I raise my face to the sky

I scream WHY!

Why must I wonder how I will feed my child

Will I be able to make my house payment

Why! 

I feel like crying but crying shows weakness so I yell instead 

My baby asks for things: books clothes games a snack and I yell because we don’t have money for all that

How do I handle all the stress all the worry all the pain

I’m not alone

Others feel the same

Some yell and some find other ways to deal

Dull the pain and the worry even just a little while To be happy and not feel the worry anger despair

But it just pulls us deeper into the despair and gives us more to worry about once we surface from the high there is always a low

It slams us down and breaks us again and again and again

WHY! 

Until one day we realize that that there are people standing near shouting for us to get up and start anew

Leave the pain killing things and let yourself feel 

We are here and we will stand with you

But they cannot walk our path for us they must simply stand next to us

Frustration and loneliness rush in and we risk drowning once again

Get up the voices whisper and we yell at them to go away they don’t understand 

No but they are standing there anyway whether they understand or not and they lend a hand and we shove it away

I’m not weak we yell and scream I can do this myself 

The tears come unbidden as I you we lay on the ground screaming at as the tears fall down 

Face to the sky crying WHY!

The people are there again whispering 

There is no because to answer that question 

It simply is

I have a choice, you have a choice, we have a choice

Get up or stay down 

Getting up is hard because there is a risk of falling again and again 

I’m not alone, you’re not alone, we are not alone

Others have been here they know 

It’s a path we must walk alone but there are others close by they look over and smile whisper you can do it 

I pull myself to my feet tears still stuck in my eyes anger and sadness burning my heart

Stepping forward letting go

Stumbling 

Falling 

Getting up

Pain

Anger

Tears

Frustration

Sadness 

Stepping forward 

Letting go

Smiling 

Happy

Stumbling 

Catching 

Face to the sky

Head held high

                                    VP 9-19-16

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