Justin wrote this about 2 months and 12 days before he died. At this point he didn’t know that his kidney was failing again, he hadn’t had any confirmation from the doctors anyway. Something inside was telling him he wasn’t long for this world. For me his death came suddenly, for him not so much. He seemed to know that his time was short. I am sharing this because I am Thankful for the time that I got to spend with this man. I wish I had more time, but I am thankful for the time I was given. Without further ado…….
With Thanksgiving around the corner I’m reminded of what to be thankful for. Often I’m blinded by what I want instead of seeing what I have. Looking back at my life wondering when was the defining moment? When did I become who I am?
Life has taught me that its not what you have its what you do with it. I was twenty when I found out my kidneys were failing. At first I was optimistic thinking No believing that I could somehow change what was happening. Slowly I got weaker losing my fight despite my positive outlook. I felt betrayed by my body defeated by this world that was taking me away. I would like to say I was strong that I held on to something anything. But the truth is I turned my back to everything falling into my own darkness. Not caring living to die waiting for my day to come.
The years pasted slowly leaving only a haze over my wounded eyes. Unable to see unwilling to be lost within my own mind. Time the constant reminder of my failure taking comfort from my own suffering. Nine years pass and I was just a shadow of what I once was. Haunted by the ghosts from my past unable to let go of the dream. The silent voice whispering within my heart reminding me of the spark. The light that was still burning within my eyes even though I refused to see. The desire of wanting to be crumbling the walls that were holding me.
I have been given a second chance to right a wrong. Life is an experience and a journey. No matter how far you traveled or how much you learn you will leave this earth exactly were you started. True happiness comes from believing you are happy. The secret of life is to love to live because life is a gift. And as long as you hold on to your dreams letting them inspire you to be more you will become..
My time may be short but I am thankful to be here, Happy to be alive, And I will die knowing the child within………