Monthly Archives: March 2013

How Old?

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old are?” Satchel Paige

I love this quote, it always makes me think. I have decided that I would be 10 years old. That magical age when everything still makes sense, boys are okay to play with at recess, and Barbie isn’t yet a toy for “babies”. Life moves differently at age 10. All we had to do was our homework and play games. Maybe the occasional chore for our moms. Climbing trees and riding our bikes around the neighborhood was fun. Watching television and playing videos games was limited (in my house nearly prohibited during nice weather). We were aloud to go to a friend’s house with a simple quick yell inside at a parent. The only real worry was the bully at school and what mom was fixing for dinner.

When I was 10 I loved bright colors and making up stories. Reading and playing with my Barbies was absolutely awesome! And climbing a tree was a doable activity. I didn’t yet have glasses and boys were only just starting look “cute”.  Flowers and trees were beautiful, fashion did not really make it into my radar, and my weight was not yet an issue. Simple, sweet, and wonderful. 

As an adult I turned more to earth tones because that was acceptable adult decor. Not that I don’t like earth tones, I love nature and the colors that it holds. But I find myself frequently heading for bright, bold, and beautiful colors, unfortunately many of the things I am drawn to are found in the children’s section of paint, craft, and decor stores. I picked up paint samples at the store once and fell in love with the “Playful” color palette. When I pointed out the colors I really liked to a family member I was immediately told that the colors were meant for a child’s room. I set the paint samples aside and look at them longingly  every now and again. The one question that taunts me is “Why? Why did I let that person tell me that the colors I loved weren’t adult enough?” There are many beautifully bright and bold colors found in nature and I aim to embrace those colors because that is what I like. Who is in charge of me? ME! DAMMIT! 

There are more worries as we get older too. The constant questions of “How do I look?” “Am I wearing the right clothes, makeup, shoes?” “Did I pick the right major, career, lover?” “Is the world going to end tomorrow?” Okay I don’t worry so much about that last one. Though with everything going on in the world it has crossed my mind once or twice of late. 

Yeah if I had to choose an age it would be 10. To see life through the eyes of a child again would be…nice;)


A Poem just for the hell of it


Bittersweet memories coming out to play

I hear the thunder coming from so far away

I see the lighting strike the ground

Powerless to stop it I can no longer delay

The memories make my body sway

I drink them in and smile as the tears fall down

Slowly I remember

Gently wipe the tears away

Bittersweet memories are coming out to play

Breathing through the sorrow

For that long forgotten tomorrow

Bittersweet memories

They come with the deafening thunder

My careful mask pierced by bright lightening

Shocking…but not so terribly frightening

I dance around the pain until my nerves begin to fray

Bittersweet memories coming out to play

A gentle wind sweeps through

Memories take on a different hue

The bitter falls away

Leaving only the sweet to play

Gentle fingers touch my lips

Of these memories I take slow steady sips

The bitter comes from the pain

From knowing I’ll never have this again

The bitter pain is stripped away

As the sweet memories come out to play

The sweet that is left is a gift

Through these memories I sift

Knowing that I am lucky

Lucky to have known such love

I smile, dance, and sway

As these sweet memories come out to play