Today is my birthday! Yeah for me! No I really do mean it. I am 34 years old today. I have been called an old woman and been told that I am still a baby. In truth age is just a number. My life has not been shortened just because there are more candles on my birthday cake. I don’t know if my death date has been set by some higher power, don’t know if my fate is written in stone…don’t think I really care. Well…maybe a little. My husband died at 34 just over month before his 35th birthday. He would have been 36 this past February. Today I have received a TON of birthday wishes and I have felt pretty happy. That being said I must admit to having a gray cloud roaming around in the back of my head. I have decided that it is in part due to Justin’s age when he died…partly because I have always had a fear of death, and partly because Justin isn’t here to make me a card and give me flowers. I know that I can’t do anything about how old justin was when he died and that someone else may give me flowers and a birthday card. So I guess that leaves the fear of death.
I decided to do a little bit of digging in my own head and here is what I came up with. No I am absolutely NOT having a mid life crisis ;). Yes I am afraid of dying but only because I love the people that are in my life now, I love this life. There is a lot of bad stuff and there are people that I miss who have passed on, but I am just not ready to go. And truth be told I may not have much control of when I do die so what’s the point of worrying? The other thing I have discovered is that I LOOOOOVVVVVE Birthdays so I want to have as many as I can.
So here it is in a condensed version.
AGE IS JUST A NUMBER! Don’t let it rule your life. The number of candles on your cake doesn’t make you who you are, they just mean that you have had another year to learn, grow, and live. SO GO LIVE! Don’t hide in a corner just because the number goes up, get out there and put your stamp on the world! LIVE! LOVE! BE AS HAPPY AS YOU CAN BE! Don’t let someone tell you that you are too old, or too young, you are who you are, be the best you you can be 🙂
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
And if today was your birthday too HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!